Updated version of this post.....

I feel inspired to share a bit of what has been going on for me in the past weeks, as Hubie and I prepared for our baby to come. Although the inspiration is there, the coherent words aren't exactly flowing. But I guess they do come...just not sure words can portray what the world feels like these days.

At times like this one, similar to when we got married, we are waiting in anticipation for a major life shift. Having our first baby. I can't imagine what it will be like to have a kid. I think about the amount of energy it takes to hold a baby for an hour, or play house with kids, which is the extent of my experience, and having a baby really freaks me out. Surely this is nothing compared to taking the child everywhere: Dr's, grocery store, church, family and friends' house, and preparing every meal, washing double the laundry while still cleaning the house and having a vibrant marriage.
I have been in denial...that my life won't change as much as I am thinking, or motherhood can't be as difficult as it seems. Otherwise, I might really go crazy! :) (I smile because I also believe that motherhood will be a joy and there has to be something miraculous about serving the way parents serve their children.)

We are trying to be prepared as much as possible for this little one's arrival, but sometimes it seems we will need more than baby stuff and birthing classes to really be ready.

God has spoke to me personally and through people on several occasions during my pregnancy. Reassuring me that children are a blessing; encouraging me that I will enjoy motherhood and this is all part of his good plan for me; letting me know that motherhood is in some ways inherent to women and not learned through books and research. In all this anticipation, it seems as though waiting and resting with God has been the most beneficial. He is so good at standing with us during difficult times.

I was reminded on Sunday of how many times I specifically felt God get me through a really tough time. It was humbling to be reminded, as I had forgotten. He has always been with me, and I trust he will still always be with me. His promises are true too...the stuff he has reminded me of are written in his Word, they are special God-breathed words. They have brought me clarity of mind as well as peace during anxious times.

It is fun to share this special time with people too. Every one I meet is excited for this little one to come! All the clerks at Target and Kmart :), family, friends, anyone!
If only every one knew, this child truly is a miracle. He is more specifically proof of Jesus' resurrection in Hubie and my lives. We lost one pregnancy, but he chose to show us through little Linus his continued love for us. It is so humbling. We continue to pray for God's resurrection for our friends who have lost babies too. Jesus has redeemed us all.

Well, it is almost time to wake Hubie up. He worked the last two nights, and is so tired. I'd better wake him up so he can enjoy a few more hours of the day! Before we know it, bed time will come again.

____________________
Val