Grandma

Grandma was a special lady. She was quiet, a devoted friend, hard worker and fervent prayer. She was some one I looked up to, and some one I considered a good friend.

Grandma always knew when I called unexpectedly that I might be feeling lonely, overwhelmed, and in need of a listening ear. She gave the best advice.

Grandma never made me feel inferior that I needed her help. She didn't even let on that she knew why I was calling... When I was lonely, she would tell me that she never felt alone when she read her Bible. The Lord would come and be with her. When I was overwhelmed, she would talk about the greatness of the Lord. She would tell me that she prays for me every day, and that she would be lifting my specific need to the Lord. She always listened intently.

I had such a good grandma; her legacy in life in the Lord still lives in my heart.

It has been over a month since her passing. Actually, on the 19th was a month. The same day that marked the anniversary of my mom's passing 11 years ago.

I have been sad thinking of all the special women who have passed in my lifetime. It isn't going to get better, as we will all pass away. The Lord has been showing me that the only way to go on in this life is knowing this life is not the end. God promises to give us eternal life (and abundant life here), and that I will be reunited forever with all my sisters who have passed.

Every morning I wake up to John crying or cooing (hopefully cooing!), and I remember my responsibility as his mom. I could greet him with a tired, frustrated face, or savor his sweet smile as he grins back at me. It's a good reminder for me to choose Joy and Peace during my day. The way I greet little John could determine whether he likes mornings for the rest of his life! Gram was awesome, I never remember spending time with her when she was in a bad mood!

In the last couple months of her life, Gram talked a lot about the Lord coming back for us. She could not wait to see her Jesus and all the family who went ahead of her. When she talked about dying, I told her that wasn't happening for at least 20 years still! But, the Lord knows my grandma- all the ways she served with out any one knowing, all the aches and pains, all the prayers of her heart.

Now that she's gone, I see why she studied about Jesus coming back. She lived a long life and was well acquainted with grief. Jesus' Hope of eternity and Hope for her on earth was so real. Maybe through her prayers, but definitely by the Lord, I am learning the same thing.

Remembering

My mom was one of those woman who fought for what she believed in. She was very faithful to her family, caring and spending much of herself on them. She was a hard worker and loved what she did every day at work. She was one of those rare people to find something for which she was passionate.
My mom liked to dance, she enjoyed her deep relationships with friends, and was one to brag about her kids. I remember as a teen, getting a new pair of jeans. My mom had a friend over and made me MODEL these jeans for her friend! What a confidence booster- she wanted her friend to know how good I looked in these jeans. My mom was like that. She wanted my brother and I to know we are special and that she loves us.


My mom went through a series of tough things throughout my life with her. My parents divorced after several years of marriage (I think 13 years), and she soon after was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was a tough cookie. My mom fought hard, and had tons of support from our local church, friends from work, and later a hospice team.

Recently, I visited my mom's grave to remember her. It is hard to remember her without crying, because I've missed her so many times since she passed away. She has missed so much of my life. But this time, God showed me something at the grave.
He reminded me that He is taking good care of mom now. All these years, in my heart, I had never let my mom go to be with Jesus. What a peace this reminder gave me. I don't need to worry that my mom is sick, sad or lonely any longer. She is joyful, fulfilled and surrounded by friends!
And the second thing He reminded me. He has taken awesome care of me since mom passed. Life is scary with out a mom. So many things a mom does for a little girl- especially a teenage girl. Now adult girl... But God took care of me. Dad saw that it wouldn't be good for my brother and I to move, and sold his house and moved right in to our house. He grieved with us and through out the months prior to mom dieing, helped us out almost every night. God sent me an amazing step mom who listened to me and helped me to adjust to my new family. He sent me Jill and Jackie who spent time listening, giving advice and letting me come over a lot.
At the grave, the realization hit me that God is with me, leads me, protects me, and befriends me. I don't have to be afraid or hold on any more.

I share all this because I know that today, there are many other family and friends who remember my mom today. They have very fond memories of her too, and most likely grief. It is strengthening to know I am not alone in these thoughts and feelings today. Hopefully you will be strengthened knowing that you are not alone either!

...Today marks 10 years from when mom passed away. Please remember her with me today.

Love to you all!

surprise, we had company!

Hubie's friends from a few year back were in town today. They stopped by our house, and then came over for dinner tonight! Ross and Jessica lived in Philly for a number of years, moved to Vermont, and now are in Virginia.

I am usually not very calm at the proposal of hosting spontaneous dinner at the house. It was fun though, no need be anxious.

This weekend we went to Indiana to visit to my parents at their lake cottage. Hube and I stopped in my home town to look at my mom's grave, since it will be 10 years this year since she passed. We got flowers and cleaned the stone. This little stop made our arrival in IN later than we wanted, but it was worth it for me.

Saturday Courtney and Kevin came over to IN to see us! They brought their cute kids too:) It was nice to catch up in person, since we rarely have time other than on the phone to do that. We went on a boat ride and watched Luke do some tummy time. Emma warmed up soon enough and loved being outside on the deck.

Mary bought us food we like and cooked it up real nice:). We had potatoes and bacon for breakfast and this yummy raisin bread toast. We had a good time just being together for a couple days. My brother Ryan and sister in law Britt came up on Sunday. It was sort of a quick time with them, since we drove home that day. Chad and Jeannie surprised us and came too! It was great to see everyone, Uncle Bob and Sharon, Grandma Knox and McCullough too!

My Grandma McCullough gave me her old sewing tin. It was sweet of her, she is such a giving and thoughtful person. Always thinking of some one else.

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As you go on your way,
May the Lord walk beside you to comfort you.
May the Lord walk above you to watch over you.
May the Lord walk behind you to keep you safe.
May the Lord walk before you to show you the way.

This was the benediction my mom left, as a reminder of God's amazing comfort and presence.


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